


Super Tsukki

by kourota



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AND TO SEE TSUKKI SUFFERING HAHA, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Humor, M/M, Magic, Multi, OH THIS IS A CRACK FIC, Second and Third years appear in the background, Sports Anime Crossover, There will be interactions with them in the future, Tsukki has magical powers but they're all useless, imma add more tags as i write the story, pop culture references, tadashi is in control of all braincells at least in the start, there are ocs but they're all demons made to torment tsukki, there may be a semblance of plot but i'm just writing this for the memes, too many references lmao, tsukki is sarcastic and tadashi is the same haha
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:14:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29960775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kourota/pseuds/kourota
Summary: This is the tale of a boy who, one day, woke up with magical powers. While that may have been the start of a wonderful adventure of fantasy, friendship, saving the world and conquering evil, this boy happened to be Tsukishima Kei.And the powers happen to be the most inconvenient kind of them all.(Or, a fic where Tsukishima Kei is tormented and we all get to watch him suffer, in chapters packed with chaos and elite humor)
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Super Tsukki

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, so, heads up before you get into the story: this is a CRACK fic so be prepared for waves of chaos, bad jokes, a lot comedy, and a sarcastic little shit for a narrator (yes, it is Tsukki).
> 
> And so, to best express the hilariousness and feelings in each situation Tsukki is plunged into, I decided to write this in **FIRST PERSON POINT OF VIEW**. I know that may be a little off putting to people, but just... give it a shot? Please? I promise it'll be good, I've put a lot of effort into this haha. I also didn't know how to make third person POV sound sarcastic so yeet.
> 
> Anyways, if you have anything you wanna talk about, my tumblr is [@smartass-hoot](https://smartass-hoot.tumblr.com/) and my discord handle is @kourota#2709

My name is Tsukishima Kei and welcome to my sorry life where I have superpowers. Now, before you go screaming at my face (or at my chest, if your intelligence and your height are directly proportional), let me tell you that it is quite a hassle to have superpowers. You see, I am the kind of person who would love to lead a life where humanity is no longer and I get to do whatever I want instead of having to deal with people who are deprived of brain-cells and just a tad bit better than mindless zombies (it’s the sight, I tell you), but then again, we can’t have that, can we?

Life isn’t fair so I got stuck with a shoddy excuse of a club where everyone is… let’s not get into the details. It’s the worst kind of thing to be doing, all of that hard work and… overexerting yourself for some fruit that will never reap.

To make things worse, I had to constantly deal with  _ magic _ of all things.

It might have been nice if it had just been something small and unnoticeable, like being able to bend a spoon without touching it. People might pass it off as a parlor trick, or just ignore you, or they might not even notice it. Heck, I’d say that even those comic book heroes have it better than I do when it comes to the type of power they have.

I… really don’t understand my powers.

They change every day.

Every. Single. Goddamn. Day.

And they’re absolutely unpredictable.

Let’s take today for example. I woke up, checked to see if I’ve grown any lizard tails, accidentally burned my bed, made everything levitate, grown horns… you get the gist of it. When everything felt normal, a sickening feeling crept up on me. It was like an unshakable shiver that just lodges itself in your spine. It took me all my willpower (which, I admit, I didn’t have much of) and courage to go to my bathroom and look in the mirror.

“Please don’t paint me in polka dots.”

After what felt like eternities of inner conflict I looked up to see my face just as it always was. I was normal, that is, except for the mass of shocking purple sprouting on my head. I didn’t want to think about all the things it reminded me of, and it seemed to be getting more hideous the more I stared at it.

“Why? What did I ever do wrong in my life? I swear I’m ready to make amends. If you want my life just take it I never really liked it anyways but I couldn’t be bothered to take it myself.”

Since God is, was, and will always be deaf, I didn’t magically lose my powers. It was worth a try anyway.

After a few moments of contemplating my life decisions, I grabbed my grey beanie and pulled it over my head. Skipping school would’ve been the best option but I had to save that for desperate times. Also, I didn’t want to worry my mother and have her call my brother in. He was the  _ last _ person I wanted to deal with.

Depressing backstories aside, I quickly got ready and headed downstairs to shove something down so that I could last the day without snapping, punching someone in the face or chucking a shoe in their general direction, although the latter would be quite hilarious—

“Tsukki!” an all too familiar voice echoed.

“What are you doing here, Tadashi?”

“Don’t be rude, Kei, he just came to pick you up,” my mother chided me. “Now, why don’t you sit down and I’ll serve breakfast—”

“I have to hurry, so I’ll eat on the way, Mom. Thanks for the effort, though.”

“Wait, Kei—get back here you little rascal! And Tadashi-kun, please stop him from stealing that bagel—”

I didn’t give her the time to arrest me, grabbing Tadashi’s hand and making my way out faster than a certain idiot duo who had the combined intelligence of fungus rotting away in an abandoned locker in a dilapidated school building. We ran for a couple of blocks before I deemed it safe for us to stop fleeing for our lives. I really despised running because it always left me breathless and pained and gasping, but that didn’t mean that I wouldn’t do it to get away from, well, everything.

“Say, Tsukki,” Tadashi huffed between breaths, bent over with his hands on his knees, “why are you wearing a beanie of all things? It’s a rather warm October day.”

And here I was, hoping that it would go unnoticed.

“I just felt like it, so stop calling me out.”

“Ah, gomen Tsukki!” he exclaimed, eyes going slightly wide, but that mischievous glint in them remained. “I didn't mean in that way. I was just curious.”

“If we keep chit chatting we’re going to reach school next year so let’s go.”

It was the best I could do, playing things off cool. At least, that’s how it was with Tadashi. Since we basically grew up together, he’s gotten used to reading me like an open book, even though I made it a point to come off as nonchalant as possible. Add a little bit of sarcasm and crack jokes that chipped away at their insecurities and you could even keep them away for a prolonged time. You’re welcome for the tips.

We headed in the same, familiar route, taking the first right after the vending machine outside the florist granny’s shop, turning left at the telephone pole that was painted in various colors by children for god knew what reason but it had been around for quite a while so I let it be, walking past all of those  _ constants _ that kept me from going insane.

It was the familiarity of knowing what is going to happen, and being at peace with it that made me feel calm.

Tadashi kept going on about some rumor of a ghost in our school and how he thinks that is silly but scary, and about his cousins coming over to play with him over the weekend. He mentioned how NASA found this wig floating around in the stratosphere and how he thinks it’s an elaborate prank. Despite me not responding in the very least, he kept rambling about all the things in the world, which kind of felt both annoying yet peaceful—

“—Honestly though, I’d rather not go out with her,” he sighed. “I mean, she’s nice but just not my type, you get me?”

“Wait, what? Who’s going out with who now?”

“No, Tsukki! I’m not going out with anyone. I just got asked out, that’s all.” Tadashi scratched his nose. “I’m actually more surprised you were even vaguely paying attention to what I was saying.”

“Something just caught my attention, that’s all.”

“You aren’t denying the fact that you don’t pay attention most of the time,” he accused, chuckling.

“There’s no point lying if you know the truth already.”

“I guess so,” he laughed, a sound that resembled the soft rustling of leaves on a windy day in autumn. “So what do you suggest I do? Turn her down or give her a chance?”

Why was I giving relationship advice to my childhood friend the first thing in the morning? Well, technically not the first thing but it did make the cut for the top three.

“I assume that you’re the type that doesn’t want to hurt her feelings—” 

he nodded, 

“—and you don’t really like her—” 

he nodded even harder, 

“—so just reject her and make it as clear as possible.”

He stopped dead in his tracks.

“Wait, isn’t that just going to hurt her?” 

“What do you want—more pain or less pain?”

“Ah, I see,” he said after a few seconds.

“Alright, now let’s go.”

I walked ahead and stop when he didn’t follow. He stood there, looking at the ground with a dejected look on his face, almost as if he was disappointed. Well, it wasn’t my fault I didn’t have any better advice. Honestly, why did he even care so much about some random girl who wouldn’t even be affecting his life in the future? 

“Are you coming or not?”

I didn’t intend for the annoyance to slip into my voice, but it did. Immediately, Tadashi’s head snapped up, his eyes ghosted with a foreign expression in them. I… couldn’t quite place it, but it felt raw; as if I had just seen something I wasn’t supposed to see.

And then, as quickly as it came, it disappeared. For all that it mattered, it could have been my imagination.

“Thanks for the advice, Tsukki,” he grinned cheerfully, hopping along next to me. “I really like pink by the way.”

“How many times do I have to tell you, idiot, that you don’t need to thank me for anything. And what’s the random trivia for? Where did that come from?”

He paused for a fraction of a second before a knowing twinkle pervaded his eyes.

“Gomen, Tsukki!”

\---

_ “Hey, Tsukishima, what’s that on your head?”  _

_ “Are you really wearing a beanie? You? Tsukishima Kei?” _

_ “Dude, is this a joke or something? Did you get a dare to do this?” _

“Dear people trying to vex me, I seriously don’t care.” A breathtaking (not) novel by Tsukishima Kei.

If it weren’t for Tadashi asking them to stop bothering me and the headphones that allowed me to escape from unintelligible comments from primitive species, I might have actually hit someone.

Oh, and if you haven’t figured it out, these ‘powers’ of mine made me want to hit people. It’s like a pregnancy craving, but just that much more intense. I held back as much as possible, but sometimes I just wanted to indulge in my cravings. If it wasn’t for the consequences, I’d probably have eradicated the human population apart from a select few.

“Are you okay Tsukki?” He plopped down next to me, visibly tired after chasing all the pests away.

“Eh. They don’t really have an effect on me.”

“That’s what you say,” he dwindled on, teasingly smirking at me, “but in reality, they  _ do _ bother you don’t they?”

“Shut up, Yamaguchi.”

“Gomen, gomen.” He tried to stifle his laughter.

I honestly didn’t see what was wrong in wearing a beanie. People did that all the time (for reasons apart from covering their magical hair, but those are unimportant details). Well, those insects just needed an excuse to try to get me to react. As if I would ever do that—

A weight picked itself off my head and the breeze that bristled through my hair did nothing to stop me from freezing over.

_ “This is not happening oh crap who the hell would do that are you fucking kidding me—” _

Not a second later, gasps ripped through the room. It fell eerily silent and I could hear the gears in my mind running, trying to come up with an excuse, trying to find one good reason to shut everyone up all the while making sense.

I drew up blank.

_ Blank _ .

“It’s breast cancer month isn’t it?”

Tadashi’s voice sliced through the bitter ambiance with a silky smoothness that reminded me of a knife through butter. I turned to look at him and found his frame turned away, towards the rest of the class. For some reason, another breeze decided to blow in, making his bangs sway in an almost dramatic way, as if this was all some orchestrated, cheesy shoujo live action.

I didn’t understand what breast cancer of all things had to do with my hair. Last I checked, it was the shade of purple that would have made Oswald look faded, and the color for breast cancer was, well, a bright pink.

Pink… that’s a color, wasn’t it?

Was… was my hair…  _ pink? _

One day, one very fine and auspicious day, I will find out who cursed me with this and I will make them  _ pay _ . And I will make sure to repay Tadashi a thousand fold for covering my ass, even if he did do so unwittingly.

Who in their goddamn right minds would come up with the power of magical hair that changes color—

Shit. This changes color.

I shot to my feet and grabbed the beanie from a rather flustered culprit and shoved it over my head without further ado. There were a few murmurs and people shuffled awkwardly to their seats, just in time for the bell to ring and the teacher to walk into the class.

“You okay, Tsukki?” Tadashi whispered, leaning into me.

“We’re going to talk later.”

At that, he smiled and turned back to the teacher, scribbling away in his notebook. He always bit his lip and chewed on it whenever he focused on something, which, at one point, made me wonder if he’d ever chewed it too hard and bled. I remember having debated it for a whole two hours before falling asleep because it was the dumbest thing to worry about.

Notice how I said it “was” the dumbest thing?

Well, all of the credit goes to my—drum roll please— _ powers _ . Insert confetti falling from the sky and fireworks in the background, painting the sky a very bright rainbow. You’re welcome.

Something hit me. A hushed ‘sorry’ followed. I looked down on my lap to see a folded piece of paper. I picked it up and opened it to see a hastily scribbled word.

_ Sleepover? _

I looked over at Tadashi and gave him a thumbs up. His eyes twinkled and he turned back to focus on the class.

I guess I’d have to tell him the truth tonight.

\---

Throughout the length of the day, various people kept walking up to me, telling me that they were happy someone cared about women and real world problems. Sure, okay. If that’s what you want to think then nobody is stopping you.

However, it seemed as if fate wasn’t yet done with me for the day because when practice rolled around, I'm forced to take off my beanie.

You would think that by now I would have come out to the team about being a Super, since there was no possible way I could hide a lizard tail of all things. Remember why I decided to come to school? Yeah, it was so that I could save the ‘sick leaves’ for when I really needed to take them. That was one moment where I used my ‘life’, as a videogame geek would put it.

Back to the present where I struggled with trying to keep the damn thing on my head and away from the prying fingers of a kid who really shouldn’t have been able to reach that high.

“Come on, Tsukishima! Let me see the pink hair everyone is talking about!” Dumbass 1.0 yelled, leaping about ten meters into the air.

Sometimes I hoped that one day he would just jump too high, cross the stratosphere and never come back.

“For someone who clearly lacks the ability to process any external stimulus, you sure are curious to see everything you hear about.”

He made a sound that was somewhere between a gasp and a sputter, stumbling back and accidentally bumping into another of his same species, Dumbass 2.0. They both yell and immediately start recreating scenes from Kung Fu Panda where Po fails rather horribly in his first trial in the training room. 

How lame.

“Hinata and Kageyama, stop fighting this instance,” a voice I never thought I’d be relieved to hear boomed from across the gymnasium.

Daichi, followed by the other third years walked in, at which the idiot duo tore apart from each other, grumbling inaudible insults that I was glad I couldn’t hear or else I might’ve actually caught the stupidity. 

“Tsukishima, we all know that you dyed your hair pink for breast cancer month and honestly it’s okay,” Daichi turned to me. “We appreciate your concern and so you don’t need to be embarrassed about it. So take off that beanie, okay?”

“Uh, no thanks.”

“C’mon, Tsukishima, let’s see your hair. It couldn’t be that bad, could it?” Suga walked closer.

I really didn’t want them to find blue hair sprouting from my head. It would be really hard to explain to them that this is actually quite a normal occurrence to me since I’m… different. How do you tell your team that you have superpowers but they’re all useless and they change everyday without having them take you to a mental institution?

“I’d rather you not look, Suga-san. Please.”

“Why not?” he smirked, closing the distance in less time than his legs should have been capable of. “Do you have something to hide, Tsukishima?”

“He’s probably hiding a rat up there!” Hinata yelled from afar, pumping his fists in the air and hopping about like a delusional kangaroo. 

“Oi, dumbass!” Kageyama lunged for the pumpkin head’s throat. “If you have time to be making movie references you better try to improve your receives!”

“Bakageyama! Don’t murder me!”

“I’m not murdering you, dumbass!”

_ Dear person who gave me this oh so wonderful superpower of having multiple of them, please consider giving me the ability to eradicate this infectious disease called stupidity. Regards, a desolate soul trying his very best to preserve his brain cells. _

Tadashi chuckled as he walked towards me, almost as if he could read my thoughts. He placed one hand on my shoulder and gently pushed me away from Suga, almost as if he was trying to protect me from him. It was a gesture I appreciated since it stopped the predator right in his tracks.

“Yamaguchi, if you could convince your best friend to remove the thing on his head and grace us with his majestic hair that would be splendid,” Suga played what he seems to think is his trump card.

That won’t work, not with my Tadashi. I have raised him to be the most unbending of soldiers whose loyalty can rival that of a dog—

“Sure,” Tadashi smiled and, in one fell swoop, yanked my only protection off.

“YAMAGUCHI?”

I didn’t waste a single second trying to grab it back. For someone who was shorter than me, he sure did know how to keep things out of my reach. I grabbed him from behind and tried to use my longer arm length to snatch back what was stolen, all the while having one single thought running through my head.

_ “Please let my hair be pink and remain that way. Please let my hair be pink and remain that way. Please let my hair be pink and remain that—” _

“You have  _ neon yellow  _ hair?” Tanaka-san and Noya-san were the first ones to react.

_ Thank you for the information. I am actually an avid fan of Pikachu, you see, and I was just trying to— _

“Wait, no, it’s… a little bit green now?”

_ Well, I’ve always loved nature and I decided to showcase it— _

“Dude, it’s literally gray what are you talking about?”

_ I’m ageing. Leave me be. _

“Tsukishima,” Ennoshita-san piped in, “your hair is… changing color.”

Thank you for the wonderful observation, sempai. I really didn’t know that. It’s an eye opening discovery, you should probably sign up for a Nobel prize while you’re at it.

I let go of Tadashi and… flopped to the ground. Well, now that the cat was out of the bag, I might as well tell them the truth.

“You see, I—”

“Tsukki accidentally poured color changing hair dye on himself.”

What?

Tadashi grinned at me and turned to the others. 

“He really didn’t want to admit that it was his fault so he just kept quiet about it,” he continued. “He thought that it would go unnoticed since the effects only last for today, but I guess he was wrong.”

Silence.

“If that was it, why didn’t you just say so, Tsukishima?” Daichi-san shook his head and cocked it to the side. “You really worried us there.”

“Well—”

“As if Stingyshima would ever admit that he made a mistake!” Hinata cut me off. “He’s all about being  _ bleh  _ and  _ phoo _ !”

“Please speak a language I understand. It pains me to see how many onomatopoeia you’ve adapted into your speech.”

“What? I didn’t adopt any anatomy peas!” the moron exclaimed, to which Kageyama proceeded to call him a dumbass.

“Anatomy… peas…” Ennoshita-san trailed off, leaning onto Kinoshita-san’s shoulder for support. Poor guy, he really didn’t deserve to deal with so many nitwits. I hope his soul finds peace in another lifetime.

“Well, if anything, we’re all glad nothing happened to you,” Asahi laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head. “You really looked on edge today.”

A sickening dread crept down my neck. Was it really that obvious? Since when were my emotions getting the better of me? That is absolutely disgusting—I should grow up and get a hold of myself.

“Your hair is turning a deep shade of green, Tsukki,” Tadashi extended his hand to me.

“No shit.”

He chuckled at that, and I knew that I wasn’t going to chide him for the earlier betrayal (although I had saved it for future blackmail purposes). He had this way of getting away with anything and everything that he did with a simple smile. Blame his innocent looking face or his semblance—that still didn’t change the fact that he escaped all conviction.

I grabbed his hand and hoisted myself up to my feet, but not before using more force than necessary to pull the bastard down. He yelped a little at that and stumbled, tripping over my feet and toppling onto his knees. 

“That’s what you get, traitor.”

“You’re a bad person, Tsukki,” he laughed.

“I really don’t want to hear that coming from you.”

“Whatever are you talking about?” He got back up on his feet.

“Hey, you two, practice is starting so get your warm-ups done with!” Tanaka-san called out, followed by a hoot from Nishinoya-san that really didn’t make sense. 

The idiot duo competed with each other to see who could finish warmups first and got scolded by Daichi-san for being too reckless. They continued to ‘secretly’ compete, but immediately stopped it when Suga-san  _ mentioned _ how one of his friends had to quit sports because of how he didn’t warm up properly and ended up injuring his leg. This killed two birds with one stone as even Tanaka-san refrained from hoisting Noya-san above his head and tossing him at who knew what.

“Gods, they’re insufferable.”

“Do you really think that, Tsukki?” Tadashi asked, tilting his head to the side.

“What do you mean?”

“Nothing,” he smiled, but it was a little different… a little dismal, if I had to put it that way.

It’d been this way ever since my powers… awakened? Were bestowed? I really don’t know what happened but ever since that day, Tadashi had been a little closed off. I don’t think he knows, though, since he never tried to bring it up, and never slipped up about it. I mean, how would you just develop a hunch that your childhood friend has magical powers that change every day and are annoyingly unpredictable?

Well, at most, he probably realized that I was hiding something from him. If that was the case, then I don’t blame him for being upset at me. It didn’t bother me that he hasn’t tried to approach me about it already because I wouldn’t have done it if I were him. What did bother me was the fact that he was trying even harder to cover for me all the time.

_ “Give me a reason to hate you god dammit! It’s just that much harder to lie to someone who genuinely cares about you.” _

“We’d better start getting warmed up before Daichi-san scolds us,” Tadashi declared, dusting imaginary dirt off his shorts.

I guess I’d have to tell him one day. Not today, but someday. For now, I had to get through the rest of practice before I could go home and relax.

\---

“Honey, what  _ happened _ to your hair?” Mom gasped as soon as I walked in. “I swear if you’re being bullied, tell me and I will personally skewer those bastards with my own two hands—”

“It’s fine, Mom. I’m not being bullied.”

“Then why on Earth do you have pink hair?” She was already at my side, reaching up to ruffle my hair and to verify if it was real.

“It’s, uh, breast cancer month and I decided to spread awareness. Anyways I need to go finish my homework.”

“Sweetheart, that’s so thoughtful of you,” she cooed and pat my cheek. “I am so proud to have a son like you. Now, tell me, what do you want for snacks?”

I hesitated at that. Was it really right of me to lie to my Mom and get benefits out of it?

“Do you want strawberry shortcake?”

And just like that, all of my morality flew out the window.

“That sounds amazing, Mom.” I paused. “Can we get fries too? Tadashi’s coming over tonight. He just went home to freshen up, and he said that he’ll be here in a while.”

“Of course!” she chirped. “He likes them floppy doesn’t he?”

“Yeah. Ask him to come to my room when he’s here, okay?”

I didn’t bother with a shower. I had way too many things going on in my head. The walk home with Tadashi was even worse than what I expected it to be. He didn’t chat as much as he did usually, and had this rather dull, brooding expression plastered on his face. It pained me to see him like that, and I almost told him the truth.

But I didn’t because… he didn’t deserve me.

I took off the uniform and tossed it into the laundry basket.  _ Should I tell him the truth? _ I looked around for something to wear, but all the clothes seemed unappealing, even my Jurassic Park themed shirt. _ What if he thinks I’ve just gone crazy, though?  _ Why did all the clothes make me want to barf, like wasn’t there a single decent thing to wear? _ Will Tadashi even trust me anymore?  _ I grabbed something and just plopped down on my bed, right in time for a spine-chilling thought to invade the last of the calm I had in my mind.

_ What if he no longer wants anything to do with me? _

It made sense. I mean, why would anyone want to be friends with a weirdo? With someone who could potentially harm them? It wasn’t like my powers were anything cool, anything that could be used for vigilante purposes.

I could never be a hero, neither could I use these powers for my own benefit. The only real purpose it served was to help me make an ass of myself. So what was the point of having this when it was as useless as a lone sock?

All of a sudden, the all too familiar chiming of the doorbell trickled into my room. Mom called out that she was coming and after some time, there was a slightly heavier shuffling. Tadashi’s peppy voice was a little muffled as he thanked her for having him. He announced that he was going upstairs to my room and there was a soft thudding that kept getting louder and louder until a knock on my door—

“Tsukki?”

The syllables were sharp, almost jarring in the momentary silence that had enveloped me earlier. 

I stumbled to my feet before realizing that I was standing in nothing but my boxer briefs. The door knob turned a little, which nearly made my soul astral project into a different dimension. I tried to call out, but my throat was a little too dry, and the words lodged themselves in my chest. The door creaked open a little and I stopped dead in my tracks to meet Tadashi’s face peeking from the narrow hall.

Split second later, he turned a bright shade of red that would put a tomato to shame, gushed an apology, and slammed the door shut.

How wonderful, Tsukishima Kei, salt master supreme, ruler of dinosaurs.

“Is everything alright up there you two?” Mom called out from below.

“Yeah everything’s great! You don’t need to come up!”

“Yeah, Mom! Totally! For sure! Superb!” Tadashi blabbered, all the nervousness and anxiousness seeped through those words and flooded the whole of Japan, leading to many casualties and tragic deaths.

“Tadashi dear, is there something wrong?” Her voice was tinged with worry—something that made me want to hurl. She can’t be allowed to see me like this, not now, not when my hair is probably turning all shades of gay and proud.

“Tadashi, just get in here before you make it any more suspicious.”

“But Tsukki, you’re—”

“Shut. The. Fuck. Up. Now just come in and don’t make any noise.”

The door creaked mutedly and Tadashi’s flustered face peeked in. He squeezed his eyes shut and just tumbled in, clumsily, but making sure not to bring the roof down while he’s at it. Sometimes I didn’t know whether to be proud of him or just plain exasperated at how much of an idiot he was. It was always a bit of both.

“Uh, Tsukki, isn’t there anything you want to do about it?”

At once I experienced what must’ve been the feeling of “being caught like a deer in headlights”.

“...what are you talking about?”

_ He knows about your powers. He knows everything, it is why he helped you so readily, it is why he always found excuses to your predicaments. He knows that you’re a freak and a loser and— _

“Uh… if you want to just stay that way, then sure I… I can ignore you,” he muttered, turning away and refusing to look at me. Something dropped in my stomach, leaving me with a bitter taste in my mouth.

“Is it… is it really that bad?”

“I mean—” He turned away even further, and at that point I was afraid he’s going to dislocate his neck. “—it kinda is? I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be proud and open—what you have is absolutely beautiful—it’s just that I don’t think I personally am ready to see you like this.”

I could feel myself coming undone, as if all the screws got stolen by a screw fairy but this one was a fake so it just left me with nothing, no coins, no fucks. A numbness coursed through me, as if I was bereft of emotions (not that I had any to begin with) and thoughts. There was only one thing in my head, blaring as bright as a phone in the middle of the night, and that was…

Rejection.

“I… see…”

“Tsukki?” Tadashi turned back to me, as if he had caught onto something.

I could feel something hard lodge itself into my throat. It felt so suffocating, almost as if I was going to die. It was painful, the aching in my chest. I didn’t like how I was unable to control myself anymore. I didn’t like how I felt like I was ripped, falling apart and tearing away at the seams. I didn’t like how I could suddenly taste salt and how my lips had become wet.

Tadashi seemed to call out my name. There was something in his voice… I didn’t understand. Was he concerned? Why was I slowly losing focus? Why did everything feel so vague and… nauseating? My shoulders felt warm. There was a pressure on them. Was someone holding me? Why were they shivering? No… that didn’t feel right. Was I the one who was shivering? Why, though?

“Tsukki! Honestly, please respond!” Tadashi’s voice was a little too piercing.

I tried, but I had suddenly lost my speech. It was that damn rock in my throat… if only I could get it out I would be able to talk to him and maybe chide him for being so loud. I managed to grunt a little (a rather painful act, if I may add) before something strong and warm enveloped me.

It sure did feel good.

“Hey,” Tadashi’s voice was a lot softer, almost like a soothing lullaby. “It’s okay, Tsukki. I don’t hate you for this… whatever this is called, if there even is a word for it.”

Just then, the rock dissolved and fresh air flowed through me. Not before a ghastly sob ripped through the air. What on earth—was that me? Was I the one who was sobbing? Wait… then that meant that—

I jolted backwards, pushing away from everything that was in contact with me. Tadashi stumbled back onto his elbows. I felt for my face, and sure enough, it was wet. With  _ tears _ .

“Why the fuck am I even  _ crying _ ? Ugh this is so fucking lame.”

“Tsukki, I don’t think—”

“Shut up!”

I didn’t mean for it to come out so harsh, but, the tone of my voice made me wince. Tadashi’s eyes were wide open with shock, and a strange, almost foreign expression came over his face.

“I need you to know something—” he started and I knew I had to cut him off there so that neither of us got hurt anymore.

“I don’t care that you like being naked!” he exclaimed the same time I said, “I know you hate the fact that I have powers!”

“What?” we chorused.

“Honestly what is going on in here—” Mom managed to walk in at the worst time possible. Why is it the worst time possible? Well, excuse me for having the ability to immediately switch perspective and put myself in another’s shoes. It was both a curse and a blessing—the latter because it gave me an edge over any situation and the former because… well… ‘ignorance is bliss’ for a reason. What must she have seen? She must’ve seen her son, in her boxers and tears in his eyes, being hugged by his childhood best friend in a compromising position.

“Oh, I uhm will leave you two at it now okay bye,” she gushed and slammed the door shut.

Tadashi and I stared at each other for a second before groaning.

“This is going to be so awkward,” he muttered, burying his face in his palms.

“Let’s just pretend nothing happened. Anyways, you were talking about… me being naked?”

“That’s what I thought you were talking about too!” he exclaimed. “But… you… uh….”

Oh shit. 

I unnecessarily blurted out my secret. 

“Haha, what are you talking about? I was just messing around and—”

“You really are a bad liar Tsukki,” Tadashi dead-panned.

“What? Oh no I was just pulling your leg—”

“I know that you have superpowers, although I really wouldn’t call them that since they only ever seem to inconvenience you to the point where you feel compelled to hide them,” Tadashi sighed. He continued before I could argue back, “It’s actually quite obvious since I’ve known you for such a long time and the first time things seemed off you acted exceptionally weird. I mean, you had a godforsaken tail! And the next day you called in sick and the next you refused to talk, and then you wore these really heavy and weird shoes—”

“I thought it was a fucking nightmare or something.”

“Yeah, I don’t blame you.”

“So…”

“If I were to put it in a way you’d understand—” He breathed in deeply. “—I haven’t any fucks left to give about this shit. Lost it all when I was a baby. I’m so emo.”

“Oi.” 

“Gomen~” he cooed, smirking in a way that told me he was quite satisfied with himself.

\---

We stayed in that comfortable silence for a while before Tadashi reminded me to put on some clothes. Mom slipped a note from underneath the door asking us to have the food that was outside the door when we were ready to. She might have added an unnecessary wink in it but we both pretended it didn’t exist. We gorged the food while reading the latest Shonen Jump release, pausing only to point out things in the background like a flying squirrel or an odd looking character.

It was peaceful. Just the way I liked it.

It also felt lighter in my room, or maybe it was just me feeling lighter. It was quite hard to keep that secret, especially from Tadashi. Now that he knew it, I felt as if I could spare a smile for the world. Nothing was different. Everything was the same.

It was just the way I’d like to fall asleep everyday.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Thanks for making it this far! I feel really happy when people read the stuff I write, so if you wanna show appreciation and/or support me, hit that kudos button! And if you're feeling extra generous, I'd love to read your comments, haha. Love you guys!


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